Mondariz-Balneario

The doorman still wears white gloves. He’ll open the iron-and-glass door of the Gran Hotel Balneario at seven-thirty sharp, exactly as he did in 1907 when Booth Line liners from Liverpool docked at Vigo and railway carriages climbed the Tea valley to deposit corseted travellers at this granite palace. Mondariz-Balneario never bothered updating the ritual; it simply added Wi-Fi and kept the gloves.

A village that forgot to grow

Seven hundred residents, one chemist, zero traffic lights. The main street, Calle Enrique Peinador, lasts barely four minutes on foot before it dissolves into chestnut-lined lanes that smell of moss and woodsmoke. Houses are low, stone, painted the muted ochre Galicians call cor de ladrillo. Every other gatepost carries a ceramic tile announcing “auga mineral natural” – a reminder that the village still sells the same sodium-bicarbonate waters that doctors once prescribed for “nervous exhaustion”.

Because the settlement was planned around a single enterprise – the spa – there is no medieval core to tick off, no cathedral chapter-house or baroque town hall. Instead you get consistent Edwardian civility: wrought-iron street lamps, symmetrical gardens, a bandstand that hosts brass quintets on August Sundays. It feels less like Spain and more like Harrogate with sunshine and octopus.

Taking the waters without the woo-woo

The balneario complex is actually two buildings. The neo-Gothic ‘Palacio del Agua’ (1909) now houses modern treatment rooms; the older Gran Hotel (1898) contains 117 rooms, a ballroom and a billiard table shipped from Leeds. Day visitors can buy a four-hour thermal circuit for €32 (towel, cap and slippers included) which means drifting between 34 °C pools, a steamy Roman bath and an outdoor hydromassage pond where the water smells faintly of metal. Swim-caps are compulsory – bright pink silicone transforms every adult into a bemused balloon.

British guests tend to remark that the paintwork is “a bit tired”, yet the plumbing works and the staff switch effortlessly between Galician and Scouse-tinged English. Book at least a week ahead in May or September, two weeks in July; the place fills with Madrid office workers on medical vouchers.

Riverside walks that stay mercifully short

Behind the hotel the River Tea slides past in a green hurry, broad enough for kayaks but shallow enough for herons. A 25-minute loop leaves the formal gardens, ducks under a 1905 iron footbridge and follows the bank beneath bay and laurel. After rain – and it does rain – the path turns slick; trainers grip better than country brogues. Buzzards circle overhead, and the only sound is water and the occasional thwack of a padel tennis ball from the hotel courts.

If you need more mileage, continue upstream to the Fonte da Gándara, a stone spout where locals fill five-litre jugs. The trail gains 80 m of altitude through eucalyptus groves that smell like cough sweets, then deposits you back on the road. Total distance: 4 km. Total effort: minimal.

What to eat when you’re bored of health

The hotel buffet is deliberately safe – grilled hake, boiled potatoes, bowls of kiwi – but wander 200 m to the village bars and you’ll find empanada gallega sold by the quarter-metre. Tuna-and-pepper is the beginner’s version; order raxo (pork shoulder marinated in pimentón) if you fancy something that bites back. Lunchtime menú del día costs €12 and arrives in three waves: soup, main, dessert. The wine is Albariño, locally bottled, closer to Sauvignon Blanc than to Rioja. Ask for a “xeraz” (sherry) and you’ll get a puzzled look – this is Atlantic country, not Andalucía.

Day-trips for when the clouds roll in

Hire a car for €35 a day in Vigo and head 25 km south to Castelo de Sobroso, a 12th-century border fortress now surrounded by vineyards. Entry is free, the keep is intact, and you’ll share the battlements with maybe two German cyclists. Add another 15 minutes to reach the Iron-Age hillfort of A Troña, five concentric ramparts commanding the whole valley; take walking poles if the grass is wet.

Beach addicts should aim for Playa América (40 min), a scallop of pale sand with EU Blue Flag status and a beach bar serving acceptable fish-and-chips. The Atlantic stays at 19 °C even in August – bracing, not roasting.

When to come, when to stay away

Spring brings camellias the size of tea-plates; the hotel lowers prices and the river path smells of wild garlic. October adds chestnut sellers on the promenade and the spa relaxes its dress code to “whatever keeps you warm”. Avoid 24 July–15 August unless you enjoy Spanish school-holiday volume; the pool becomes a noodle-strewn soup and dinner runs in two sittings. Winter is quiet, misty and cheap – the gardens can feel like a set for Wuthering Heights – but some treatment rooms close for maintenance and the bar shuts at 22:30.

The practical paragraph you actually need

Getting there: Ryanair flies Stansted–Vigo on Tuesdays and Saturdays (May–Oct). A pre-booked taxi to Mondariz-Balneario costs €38 and the driver will already know your hotel. Alternatively ride the Monbus towards Ourense; buy the ticket from the driver (€5.40) and ask for “el balneario” – the stop is 50 m from reception.

Bring: light rain-jacket whatever the month, non-slip shoes for river paths, swim-cap, flip-flops, Spanish phrase-book (Galician is favoured over Castilian in signage). Leave the stilettos at home – cobbles win every time.

Language: reception staff speak English; village bars may not. A cheery “bos días” opens more doors than perfect grammar.

Exit through the gift shop – or don’t

The hotel boutique will sell you 75 cl of Agua de Mondariz for €1.90, identical to the stuff that gushes free 20 m away. Instead pocket a chestnut from the gardens and pocket the memory of a place that never needed to be “discovered”; it simply waited for the next generation of pink-capped bathers to decide that Edwardian hydrotherapy beats another weekend in the Costas. If that sounds like too much water and not enough action, stay in Vigo. If the idea of gloves, granite and a gentle river loop feels oddly comforting, Mondariz-Balneario still keeps the gloves ready.